Doing a Happy Dance

I’m not usually one that toots their own horn, but there are positive things happening in my life right now that I’m so very happy and grateful for that I feel the need to share.

Despite having PCOS (which causes higher sugar levels and cholesterol issues (among other problems) and a hereditary predisposition to high cholesterol…
I am no longer pre-diabetic! My sugar levels are normal!!!
My “good” and “bad” cholesterol levels are now normal as well!!!!

Yes, I have other health problems that I’m still working on with my doctor, but these 2 things are awesome and an indication that my lifestyle changes are paying off. ¬†I’m so excited and surprised ūüôā

 

I have been creating many larger drawings in the past few weeks. ¬†I have rendered¬†works in this style before, but haven’t in quite some time (2 years I think- yikes!). ¬†They also make me happy. ¬†Like most artists, I don’t always like my creations and often times am not confident in my abilities. ¬†When they say that ‘the artist is their own worst critic’, they are very much correct. ¬†So, for me to be happy with something that I’ve made is a good thing indeed. But anyway new artwork to share…

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So my lovelies… what makes you happy? ¬†What are you grateful and appreciative for? ¬†Yes, world events are pretty bleak, and it is hard for many (myself included) to stay hopeful and positive right now. ¬†So, it is important now more than ever to be aware of the things that are going well for you and hold on to that feeling. ¬†Let those positive chunks of your life fuel your day. ¬†It’s those bleak times, when many have lost hope, that we need those who are strong in their optimism to help others up.

I hope everyone has a wonderful day of awesome ūüôā

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The World Needs a Big Hug

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It’s been a strange January thus far. ¬†I’ve done a lot of soul searching and had made great strides in my personal development. ¬†I have delved deep and made progress, despite the churning of the emotional tides of the collective unconscious. ¬†It’s difficult¬†not to be distracted when you sense the world¬†crying out in pain. ¬†Anxiety, dread, and anger echo out, resonate, and amplify through many humans when we observe what is going on in our world. ¬†Raw emotion builds exponentially and finds its home within everyone’s heart. ¬†We are connected more than we realize and what we emote, spreads.

When all we hear people talk about, all we see on the news or on social media, or all we experience when we go to work or the store is the horrible¬†aspects of life, we believe it to be all of reality… that only the negative is the norm. Same thing like when all we see in the news is a particular race seen in a bad light and/ or not represented equally in the images we see daily, we start to believe those bad qualities are the reality of what that race possesses. ¬†Now whether you believe in the metaphysical or Jungian belief of how this phenomenon occurs or not, it can be measured and witnessed with our empirical senses.

We shape our own reality more than we realize.
People tend to dismiss “being positive” or being a force of love when there’s so many “important” and scary things in the world as stupid hippie crap. For those who need a “reasonable explanation” for stuff: the more we experience or think something, the brain creates neural pathways to making these connections easier. Using the example of the stressful political climate, our brains expect the horrible and crazy, expect anyone who doesn’t believe the same way is a dick, anyone that doesn’t look like us, to be a potential threat, expect that no real change or good can happen in the world. And thus our brains are shaped and thus our perceptions of reality and how we react are shaped. ¬†But we can change the neural pathways of our brains by training our pathways¬†to the positive and repeating. ¬†And in the belief of the collective unconscious, affect what thoughts and feelings we are subconsciously “downloading”.


So the challenge I pose to all of us (which I know can be extremely difficult when stressed and scared as fuck), is to purposely remember all the good things that have happened each day- train your short term memory and then your long term memory that not only bad things happen in our world; do random acts of kindness- train your brain to associate happy feelings of generosity and happiness with interacting with other humans; do things that make you happy and be silly and happy with others- train your brain that this life is more joyful, than not… that we’re awarded when we’re positive. ¬†
Time to exercise your mind and rework those synapses. ¬†Pour in some calm and positivity into the “hive mind.

All it takes is love, joy, compassion, and all the sparkly good feeling stuff in life… and in time we’ll shape ourselves and this world for the better ūüôā

So, ¬†it’s late and I may have left out huge chunks of thought. ¬†I may have to revise shit in the morning, lol. ¬†In the meantime, meditate, find some clarity, and be kind to yourself and others. ¬†There are many beautiful souls out there that care and wondrous, loving things happening on our blue rock. ¬†Take a breath and have a (virtual) hug from me ūüôā

New Year of Awesome!

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(a tipsy me during New Year’s Eve)

Hello lovely people who are actually reading this!

I hope everyone had an amazing New Year’s celebration and have a renewed sense of optimism of what 2017 may bring. ¬†For New Year’s Eve, I went to a party over a friend’s house, actually drank alcohol (I have been giving it up and other foods for the sake of my health), played bartender for my friends (I like to do this), played Cards Against Humanity, set off confetti/ streamer poppers, laughed and did other stuff to ring in the new year.

Usually this is the time to set the dreaded “New Year’s Resolution”, but I don’t really have one except for what I have already been striving for in my continuing journey of healing. ¬†I’ve been concentrating on my health and what things help ME be healthy, healing past baggage that’s been holding me back, a manifestation mindset, happiness, and being more of a loving being. ¬†One thing new that I’ve been incorporating into my life this year, is writing down a daily list of positive things that have happened during the day. ¬†Also, I have a goal of setting up a morning routine to keep me focused. ¬†Ok, so I guess I do have a couple resolutions after all, lol! ¬†It’s all good. ¬†Beginnings and milestone¬†dates¬†are always times in which we tend to evaluate our lives, make goals, and decide what we wish would be different; whether it be the new year, the new moon, a big birthday (generally ending with a zero), a new job, a new life status, etc… ¬†And this is a very good thing indeed. ¬†Ok, not so much the beating yourself up for being “not as successful” as others at this age or being “sooooo old”. ¬†That’s not good. ¬†Comparing ourselves to others doesn’t really serve us anyway; it’s comparing ourselves to how we were earlier in our life journey- AND not looking at it with judgement! ¬†The big thing is to hold ourselves accountable without being mean about it. ¬†Feeling guilt, despair, or hopelessness won’t help us make positive changes in our life. ¬†So my unsolicited advice (well honestly, it IS your choice to read my blog or not- just sayin’, ha ha ha!) is to have fun with your goals, improvements, etc… ¬†When joy is present, it is amazing how far we can go and grow. ¬†And yes, this is very much a work in progress for me and I intend not to bully myself if I’m not perfect at this 24/7. ¬†You may think that the previous sentence sounds strange, but seriously self perfection and self loathing have been big struggles throughout my life, so it’s a mindset that’s good for me to have. Now I have the phrase “huggle the struggle” in my mind, LOL! ¬†That actually is a good little mantra and I think I will use that from now on ūüôā

So, what about you? ¬†What are things in your life that you’re feeling inspired to change or improve? ¬†What ways can you be kind to yourself while you are learning new thought processes and skills? ¬†What brings you joy?

I hope the first few days of 2017 have been great for you all and here’s to 362 more!

and…

HUGGLE THE STRUGGLE!

Positive Highlights During a Crazy Ass 2016

Wow, it’s December!

2016 has gone by quickly, and simultaneously can’t be over soon enough! ¬†There’s been a lot of crazy crap happening this year for many, it seems, and tensions are high.

But let’s forget about that for a bit…

Think of something that makes you happy, something that you enjoy doing, something makes you smile… anything that has shone some light for you during this challenging year.

I’ll go first ūüėČ

I’m so thankful and appreciative for the friends and family in my life, my PTSD fading out and being practically non-existent the past few months, having the opportunities to be more social and meeting new people, creating art and bringing my sketchbook with me as a habit again, and thinking more positively in general. ¬†I’m grateful for where I am and how I’m feeling. ¬†I am so very happy and looking forward to what’s next for me.

So how about you, my lovelies? ¬†What gives you joy, excitement, and appreciation? ¬†Let’s share a moment together as fellow inhabitants of the Big Blue Ball Drama. ¬†(And yes, I have some joke about blue balls in my head right now because that’s how my mind works. ¬†I know have a problem, but I enjoy it way too much. ¬†Anyway, I was talking about positivity and stuff…)

I spread love and joy to you all… via the inter-webs ūüėČ

(and drawings to be posted soon, I promise!)

 

Time Flies When a Lot of Shit Is Going Down

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(me spinning around because life is CRAZY!)

 

So it’s been months since I’ve last posted and A LOT has happened…

~ Toward the end of August I moved from Austin back to the Northern Kentucky/ Cincinnati Area (look at a map; these places are neighbors)

~ Been staying with my mom which has been interesting, but not as bad as it could be.

~ Started dating my boyfriend for real (being in the same state helped this considerably)

~ Have been spending time with my boyfriend’s children and getting to know them and becoming one of their “adults”.

~ Spent months looking for an office administration job with no luck, so started working retail.

~ Quit the retail job because I realized that it had been 15 years since working such a position and I was too old for this shit.  In truth it was a lot stress on my anxiety disorder with little pay in return.

~ Luckily I have sold a couple of paintings and finished a commission piece to get some money coming in.

~ I am currently working on a second commission which has been more slow going and difficult than I’d like, but I’m starting to the light at the end of the tunnel.

~ I have been hand making my holiday presents because of the money issues, BUT I’m also crafty and like to make things for people

~ And during all of this, I managed to finalize my divorce and get my last name back!

Yeah… busy times indeed.

So, what now?

This last half of the year has been an exercise in being calm and carefree despite not having a plan or income coming in. ¬†This has been huge for me. ¬†I have been known to be a chronic worrier. ¬†I have done massive inner work and it’s starting to show. ¬†I have been able to remain pretty positive even without steady money because things seem to work out. ¬†But I’m tired of living with family and not only want my own space to live, but an art space to create masterpieces as well. ¬†I really would love to be able to be an artist for a living and/or win the lottery. ¬†The odds are pretty slim on the latter, but perhaps not hopeless for the former ¬†My plan is to get professional pics done of my paintings and submit to galleries. ¬†I do have a photographer lined up, but haven’t had the cash so far. ¬†But it WILL WORK OUT. ¬†Right now when not applying to office positions, I have been staying creative and joyful. ¬†And I have to admit, my love is definitely helping in fueling this positivity.

What for the future?

My imagination is active 24/7 and I have many scenarios of what the future may hold. ¬†I guess I’m trying to not get lost in my daydreams and try to make those true. ¬†Painting, drawing, and creating is good. ¬†I would also like to be more social (which is difficult without spending cash) and spread happiness. ¬†I think that is a talent of mine that hasn’t been as active as it needs to be. ¬†It’s like a super power and I’m not doing my civic duty of making joy contagious. ¬†I’m like a virus of love and awesomeness, lol

Anyway, dear readers…¬†that’s where I’ve been this last half of 2014. ¬†I would like to post more in future and not be such a stranger. ¬†More pictures and thoughts to come…